Samsara
by LabyrinthineTwilight
Summary: The cycle of death and rebirth, a curse upon one who failed her greatest quest. Now almost whole she must fight an old enemy with new allies and without anyone she ever loved or the memories of her past.


"I give you this to take with you:

Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can

begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting."

― Judith Minty, Letters to My Daughters

Chapter 1

Gandalf watched Elrond pace the room. The Elven Lord seemed shaken and angered by his own words. It was true, the heir of Gondor didn't want the throne of his birth but he would do what was right in the end. It was his nature; he was a leader, a good one. The Elf sighed. "What about the girl? Has she returned?" There was hope in the old elf's eyes.

"Indeed, she has and she is willing to fight, if she is allowed." Gandalf said shuffling forward. Suddenly every muscle in his body felt old.

"Does she have any of the skills of her former life?"

"She remembers," the lord snapped around in shock, "if that is what you ask. The body is still young and the muscles do not remember their old strength. In time all of it will return to her."

"We are coming to the final battle, Gandalf; we cannot afford to wait for her to be reborn if she dies. If we are to let her go out into battle we must know that she can defend herself. I will see that she is trained by the best of my warriors I have here in Rivendell…she is..?"

"Yes, I have brought her to Rivendell with me. She was in Isengard, Sarumon was trying to use her power for his own ends. She was able to resist him but he would have forced her soon enough."

Elrond collapsed into a chair. Saruman knew she was back and he knew that this time she had her memories and powers. He wanted to use her, Sauron would soon know she was back and he would come after her. What could they do to defend her and the ring against both Isengard and Mordor? "What of the jewel? Is it safely in her hands?"

"All but a single fragment, which lies in the hands of the enemy but just like the ring it longs for her light; it wants her to come for it."

Elrond took a deep breath and shifted in his chair. "This is the fate of all Middle-Earth, it is the they who must decide what path we will take. She is our greatest chance against Sauron; we cannot let her go into his hands." There was a grave sense of duty in his words and he let it end their discussion.

Kagome looked at herself in the water, studying her reflection in the rippling surface. Water held few memories for her, something for which she was thankful. It was strange remembering so many lifetimes every time she looked at a tree or the sunlight fell he wrong way. The wizard said it was normal but she sensed deceit in his words. There was nothing normal about her or her situation. Even Elrond believed she was sent back purely to aid them in the coming battle and to defeat their enemy but that was not the only reason. She had left something unfinished and she had allowed her enemy to escape her. Her gods were punishing her for her mistakes.

She felt someone come up behind her and then stop. She turned slowly. "I'm sorry; I didn't know there was someone here."

He wasn't human she knew that. Then she remembered, she was in the lands of the elves. This particular elf was blond with bright blue eyes. "No, no its ok, I was just thinking." She said.

The elf sat down next to her on the ground. "About what?"

Kagome sighed. "About the past…and the future."

"It cannot be that bad," he reassured her gently. "Every future holds some light of hope and your past…it cannot be so bad."

She smiled and laughed lightly. "You'd be surprised. My life hasn't been that easy, ever."

"And what would one call someone with such a tortured life?"

"Kagome, Kagome Higurashi," she said with a chuckle. She had gone back to her old surname. It made sense considering her parents in this life were dead and everything she could remember told her that she should be a Higurashi. "And you, what do they call the all-knowing elf?"

"Legolas…" he started.

"Kagome!" Gandalf yelled moving from the trees and onto the shore of the river.

They both looked back in surprise. The wizard stood looking at the two with a disapproving glare. "I should go."

She stood and hurried away surprising the elf. Gandalf towered over the young human when she reached him. He looked past her at Legolas for a moment before putting his hand on Kagome's back and guided her away. Kagome could sense his disapproval as they walked and for some reason that made the conversation even better. Still, he did not speak as they walked and when he did speak at last his tone did not betray whatever it was he thought of the encounter.

"Lord Elrond would like to speak with you about your stay here at Rivendell and the…state of our world."

"Why do you do that, Gandalf? You purposefully avoid telling me what's going on like I don't know that there is something going on, something dark. Do you think I'm here for you to coddle? That you can cloister me away here and still win? You need me. I have to be allowed to fight."

He remained silent but didn't stop walking. She slowed and his hand pressed harder against the small of her back as he tried to guide her to Elrond. Wrestling out of his grip she turned to glare at him. "Sarumon, as you called him, spoke of a Dark Lord and a war that was coming. Tell me is that what you fear?" She paused but did not give him the chance to speak. "You fear my death. You think that if I fight I will fall. You believe me your savior and you-you don't want to wait to end this."

"We do not have the time to wait for you to come back to us. The final act is upon us. We must prepare for our last stand, he must not rise."

"Then let me fight!"

Anger boiled in the still air. She stood tall unlike many women of her time would have done or any at that time would have. The defiance in her stance reminded him that she was used to war in ways she could not remember and that once she had stood beside some of the most fearsome of allies. They had let her fight and until the end she had remained unharmed. Gandalf did not know how he could do as they had and allow her to fight while keeping her safe.

"Not yet." He said with a long sigh. He knew what was coming and her strength would be useful but without some of her powers there was nothing that could be done. There was also the matter of those who had played a part in her past and those who were no longer in this world. "Come, Elrond awaits you."

She walked ahead and an arm's length away from the wizard. Deep in her heart she knew he meant well but she was there to fight an enemy that had escaped her before. Every cell in her body wanted to fight him. There was a need deep within her, at the core of her power, to destroy the darkness plaguing her world. Darkness that, even as she entered the presence of the elven lord, pounded at her soul and awakened her power for a moment. It was hard to believe that such darkness could exist in a place like this. Rivendell was a beautiful place and Elrond's home was open aired decorated with ivy like designs.

"Master Elrond, may I present to you the Shikon no Miko, Kagome…" Gandalf trailed off weakly.

"Higurashi," she said in a harsher tone than she meant.

"Welcome, my lady, I hope your stay here is as pleasant as can be under these circumstances." Elrond said warmly sensing the tension between the former priestess and the wizard.

"Thank you, my Lord. I understand that I'm not allowed to join the battle or to even fight. Please explain this."

Elrond's heart sank. "Please, understand we all hold you hold you in the highest respect but at the moment you are still vulnerable. We need to get you back to your full strength before sending you to battle."

Her eyes narrowed but she didn't dispute the fact that her powers had not fully returned. It wasn't her fault she had died the last time. She had been just a child and according to Gandalf she had been under the protection of a ranger. Her entire 'family' had been under this protection. It hadn't changed a thing though, as they had all been found and killed.

"Understand, we do this for your own good." Gandalf said and it hit her. This was how women were treated in this time. While most women had been held back from battle some, like Sango and herself, found themselves more revered than male warriors. But not here, here women were obviously home makers and nothing more. The idea didn't work for her. Still they knew things about her that she could not even remember. Despite it all, she needed them.

"During your stay you will be training with my arms master. He will help you regain some of your lost skills with a bow. I will take you there now if you wish, my lady."

"If you would, please." She said with cold and practiced politeness a habit learned from Sesshomaru. Neither seemed to realize though as the lord led her away.

His arms master was not excited about taking a human girl under his wing but Elrond had been insistent; it had to be done so the elf had given in. The bow she would use was strange compared to elven bows the master was used to but again under the lord's assurances that she would be able to use it he gave in. He was to respect this strange girl with her strange bow. She was a child; he saw when they entered, with wide defiant eyes that shone coldly. As they worked it was obvious she remembered a stance, if not one he knew, and that she had been taught by a great master. Still it seemed like she had forgotten all but her stance, the more she practiced the better she did.

"My lady, sadly, I must stop now for there are guests coming to Rivendell and I must help see to them." He said with a small bow.

She lowered to bow and turned to him. Her arms ached from the repetitive motion of drawing back the string. "Of course, thank you for your help."

The elf nodded before walking off. In truth his instruction had been helpful and she regretted acting somewhat coldly to him over Elrond's actions but it was better because now she needed to work things out on her own. She raised the bow and loosed another arrow watching it lodge itself in the center of the target. She quickly drew another and this time she channeled some of the more violent energy into the tip before letting it fly. The arrow passed through the other and continued through the target. So, she was right, locked inside of her were to energies. One she knew how to use in order to heal and another that had once been trained to be a weapon.

She set the bow down and sat on a rock. There were so few things she did know. First, that this life was not her first. There were memories of her first life still swimming in her soul. In that life she had been born Kagome Higurashi, the daughter of a poor farmer. Her father had died when she was young and just after the birth of her brother. Five years later her family had been murdered by a demon that chased her away from her home. That's how she'd met Inuyasha and Kaede. He'd still been sealed to the tree due to…due to….what? All she could remember was that she'd found him on the sacred tree and that under that tree the villagers had found her. They had taken her to Kaede, who too her in until the demon reappeared and Kagome had to flee. After a strange fight with the demon she'd been forced to free Inuyasha revealing that she was a reincarnation of another miko. That day the jewel was ripped from her body to be shattered only a few days later. Battles from that day onward blurred together with the faces and names of friends. Somewhere in the bloodshed there were bubbles of happiness and…love. That was the past she could remember.

Kagome stood and removed her guard. After returning her gear to the armory she began to wander Rivendell. The elves were abuzz with news of guests that had been arriving for hours. Dwarves had been seen entering the protective boarders of Rivendell. Somehow the scandal was lost on her. She stopped at a shop and bought an apple as she walked.

"Elrond fears Sauron's return, you know this, he will do anything to destroy the ring." One elf said as Kagome passed. She stopped at a vendor within earshot to hear what they were saying.

"Men won't allow it. They've fallen to the power of Sauron, they want the ring." Another replied.

"The Council will decide, not Men." The first said.

So groups from across the land were coming together to decide wither or not to destroy a ring? She'd heard worse but the name Sauron sent dark shivers down her spine. So she headed off to find the council and to hear their takes on the matter. She snuck into the grove of trees that surrounded the courtyard of Elrond's home, the only place she been forbade to go and the first place she could think of that he would hold such a council. When she arrived some of the group was on its feet, arguing. A smaller man, a dwarf raised an axe and brought it down on a stone pedestal. The resounding explosion could be felt as far away as where Kagome stood. This caused a new string of arguments to break out bringing the rest of the council to their feet. A memory of people arguing around a campfire flashed across her mind before she snapped back to the present. A young man, small but not a dwarf, stood and something until he was heard. Slowly members of the council came to back him until 9 stood together before Elrond. She hurried back to the archery range before the council officially broke.

Legolas caught sight of a small figure darting away as the council acknowledged the fellowship and its task. It looked almost like the girl from before but he didn't say anything. A small voice in the back of his head told him that she should have been there on the council and then standing among the Fellowship with Frodo and the others.


End file.
